A Letter to a Searcher

Writing We are still here. You have seen us and looked past or around. Look not to the places of your imagining: dark places in parks or alleys, waiting in silent places, watching for one or another of you or hiding in marbled halls. We are still like you in many ways. We seek pleasure, peace, comfort and company and do not separate ourselves from you so much as is thought. Why should we deny ourselves the very jubilance and innocence which we lack?

Do not look for one whom never falters. We are wise and talented for the most part yes, but still fallible. If this weren't true my regret would be less, for the family I have lost are gone more due to their failures than to the conditions that threatened.

Look more toward one who is present yet silent, staying between fitting in and drawing attention for being too different. We do not overdress in suits or wear leather and chain unless they are close to appropriate. We represent what we are but we do not flaunt it. We can charm, yes, and when need arises we do, but we rarely have interest enough to try. When you talk or walk with us you are controlled, manipulated. This is mostly done to keep you docile and harmless. But, when we simply observe you we do not need such controls. We see your energy and it attracts us. Our heart races beneath our calm exterior, but ever knowing that with a whim your light dies.

You may imagine that in passion we would release the leash and feel your full intensity. Yet, in this we are the most cautious. Only when you are fully ours are the controls loosed and then your interest to us becomes more like that of siblings. We must consider you closer to an equal and beware of you a bit. When you join with us you become a shadow and a reminder of what we were once drawn to.

It is to this point I write to you. We know of you. Simply BE, live as fully as you can and we will love you in the best way we can: from afar, admiringly. But, if you must seek us out then seek, but look hard and with your mind as well as your heart.

M